life will be better in spring
Mixed.
Sunday, May 13, 2012 || 12:17 PM
They say pop the courage pill and go it all. Did she pop the lonely pill along too? She has a whole fist of courage, a lil too much in fact, ready to punch it all out. But, no one is there to take it all along with her. What's the point of going through all those breath taking sceneries of life, alone?
She desperately wants to break out of this mundane routine. She don't belong here. Perhaps she might not belong to the wilderness, but if you don't let her out, she'll continue resisting her fate and fightiing to break free.
Talking about social norms, conventional use etc, this society is screwed. And yes, I fucking belong to this society too. We often despise people who judge or discriminate, but don't we all do that? Aren't we already doing that when we despise these people?
Life is more difficult than anyone seems to understand. It’s like the very first thing I do, when I wake up, is make a conscious decision to keep going that day. If I don’t make that decision I’m afraid that I might not be able to wake up ever again. Some days it’s harder, sometimes I battle every minute of the day against this dark, crushing weight that uncurls from my chest and seeps into every atom of my being, suffocating me. I am so very helpless, useless, worthless. I live only because I couldn’t bare to hurt those that love me, that I love. I put on this mask, so worn and old now that it fits effortlessly, seamlessly, and pretend that I’m ok. No one ever see’s I’m not. No one ever asks. No one ever thinks I might not be here tomorrow. I’m just so afraid that one day, I’ll wake up and nothing will be enough, I won’t be strong enough anymore. I’m afraid and I’m so very alone in a life that’s so full of people who love me.
