life will be better in spring

Fleeting 4.5 months.
And we got back our JC2 term exams results. "Time flies" No,  flying is too much of a simplification at the pace my life is accelerating at right now. Looking back, I know there's so much that had happened. Yet, I just can't exactly remember them. I tried my best to recall but everything just comes rushing back like huge tidal waves and..I feel myself suffocating again. And when these waves retreat, bits and pieces of seashell memories were left behind.

Oral presentation.
Pulau ubin.
Huge scary wild dogs.
Maybank. 
Wedding.
Village.
Boundless beach.
Four walls of rustic wood.
Charcoal.
Selemat datang.

All these itsy-bitsy pieces of recollections are re-organising themselves into a mini mind map, and of course, after "Selamat datang", to sum whatever that happened afterwards : Screwed studies. Just allow me to use "screwed education system" as a facade to cover up what's really screwed. Me.

I just have this sudden urge to dedicate my heartfelt gratitude to all my loved ones. Oh wells ~ Shall keep it short though, 'cuz it's quite late already...







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Secondary school friends Tianxiao, Eeling Nizam, Kaiqin etc: OMG. I KNOW I DESERVE GAZILLION SLAPS FOR ALWAYS IGNORING YOU GUYS. >:( I know it's hard to keep in contact with me cuz it takes two hands to clap. But I really hope you guys haven't give up hope on me :( I really feel truckloads of guilt when I thought of you ;( And NO, I didn't forget about your existence nor did I thought of forgoing our friendship. It's just that I am always too tired to reply.. I will get in touch with you asap when I really do have quality time to spend with you guys! Loveyou  loads <3







To the boy who: (: I express my gratitude towards your existence every single day, and I think I can never express enough. Gratitude is just a very very very generalized and vague description of what you are to me. I am so thankful of your presence, so thankful for everything you have done for me and how much you have went through and tolerated due to my willfulness. I have failed so much. My friends all think that I will never ignore your messages nor will I go missing without notifying you nor will I make you wait like I always do to them during outings nor will I flare up. But hell no. On the complete contary, I am always not replying you, going around without informing you and i made you wait for hours for countless times already. This treatment is so not what a special friend should be getting. But you still love me and accept me for who I am anyway. There's so much more I want to say, so much more I wish to tell you to show how much you meant to me. It's a never ending list so I shall just continue telling you personally everday ;) Loveyou <3 Thankyou for being the all-in-one in my life; family, Friend, Love, Bitching/Gossiping machine, Venting frustration tool etc.

There's so much more people I would like to dedicate to, so much more I want to tell my lovelies. But words aren't enough. In the first place, words are never close to expressing something so great so noble so affectionate like LOVE. But you guys get what I mean, I count all my blessings and thank all the lords above to bless me with such awesome and loving people in my life.

It's just the beginning. It's really true when people say the start is always the hardest. It really is, especially when you are starting from scratch. Failed; but I embrace this failure. It's okay. It's hard to ignore those mocking stares, those scornful criticism, those threats punctuated with kicks and air slaps. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I will fight on and emerge victorious at the end of this race. I can, I will, I must.