life will be better in spring

hais... last day of exam le... speechless. time really flies.

i cnt take it anymore. i hate using computers. and gg online. bcoz i will bound to c things i dun wan to. i will bound to be hurt by whatsoever stuff i c. i cnt believe my eyes. i admit. ya, i am sad. thn? idk. i wan to cry. bt i cnt cry.

i promised myself.
i willed myself.
no matter what,
even when the sky falls,
even when my time i coming up,
i
won't
cry.
but..
i did.
once again,
i broke down.
this is the umptenth time.
countless times i cried in long dark nights.
gimme a break
i tried to break free away
away from the forces of emptiness.
but i can't run far
as it is too strong
it will bind me back.
does anyone know what i am going through now?
not a single soul
i don't call myself a soul
it disintergrated long ago.
i am tired.
tired of hearing
tired of seeing
tired of feeling
'coz i lost my senses long ago.
this time,
i am tired of being tired.

it's gonna be a never ending cycle which will squeeze the dryest blood out of me.

everyone is too absorbed in their matters to see mine. and everyday i had to encourage others when i am breaking down inside too.

envy - the pain you will have to go thru when u see others ownin sth you badly want
jealousy - the pain you will have to go thru when u see others with sth you alr had.